It has been a little over a week since I fell down a mountain trail.
I’ve had to adjust to hobbling as a new way of walking. My right hip is starting to bother me because I’ve had to shift my body weight. I was starting to have hip problems before my accident. I have to be in a leg brace for two months. Can’t exercise my left knee. I’ve had to come up with other ways to exercise. I’m trying to avoid gaining too much weight. Excess weight irritates my scoliosis.
Don’t worry-the post gets better. Promise.
So I was standing there in our terribly hot kitchen yesterday morning. Old Japanese kitchens are notorious for being absolute ovens during the summer. Combine an old gas table top stove with zero insulation, no central AC and 85 degree heat plus sky-high humidity at 7:00am and you have a recipe for heat exhaustion.
As I was saying, I was standing in the kitchen feeling a little miserable to be honest. Easy enough to do and I know most reading this can relate. Something bad happens that restricts your normal way of life for a while and it brings out your true colors.
Fortunately though we have a choice.
I whispered- “I don’t want to be like this, Lord”. Meaning-I didn’t want to be miserable. I know that choosing to be miserable is always the first step on the downward slide to worse.
Putting your faith into action can sometimes be hard. The hardest thing seems to be pushing past that first negative thought. For me -that’s the key. I’ve seen it time and time again. I push that first negative wave of emotion out of the way and hurry to grab hold of the Master’s hand.
So that’s what I did. A simple prayer for help. The answer came in the ability to continue to stand there in that hot kitchen, uncomfortable, in pain…and cook my husband’s breakfast.
I roasted fish. Made miso soup, boiled the komatsuna and seasoned it. Put his omelet together and measured his rice. As I set all of it on the big red tray I thanked the Lord that I could.
Some of you reading this might say that you couldn’t do that. Yes, you can. He isn’t a liar.
” I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me. “
It doesn’t say “I can do some things..” it says ALL….ALL things.
Either we believe it or we don’t.
But doing it always requires something of us. Therein lies the real choice. Are we willing to change? Are we willing to do what is necessary so that He is able to work in us and though us?
In that hot kitchen, sweat pouring, knee aching…I asked the Lord to give me the grace to serve my husband. To serve him with a whole heart because I knew he was hurting worse than I was. His mother thought she had won the battle with cancer but she hadn’t. She has now begun the fight of her life. The fight for her life.
So many times I have prayed – how do I tell them of you here Lord? In this land of a thousand gods? How do I convey to them that YOU are God? The true and living God that has promised us resurrection from the dead into life everlasting.
Again and again He reminds me it is in the quiet ways. The self-sacrificing acts of love. Of laying aside “me”. This is how I show them. This is how I reflect His love and miraculous power of change.
Sounds grandiose. It wasn’t meant to be. It took me years to learn this. I still struggle at times.
But not in that hot kitchen yesterday. I didn’t struggle. I let go. Gave it to Him. Carried on in the business of serving as if I was serving Him. Because in reality, I was.