Alone but not lonely. On being a part-time hermit.

Something I’ve mulled over for a while now was to write more candidly and openly about life here. So far I’ve only been brave enough to give tid-bits. A glimpse here and there of life here. I guess I always hesitate because I didn’t want it to seem like I was looking for advice or help.

I’m definitely not.

I have several reasons for wanting to blog more candidly  and all of them have to do with the writing craft. I’ll just leave it at that.

On with the post….

Confession: I live the life of a part-time hermit.  I actually thought of starting a blog entitled “The Accidental Hermit” but I’ve never really been successful at starting another blog. I always end up back here.

I didn’t plan on living semi-secluded it just sort of happened upon moving here. Have I tried to broaden my “horizons”? Yes.  Am I unsociable ? Not in the least. Do I enjoy part-time hermitude ? I do now. I actually think it fits me perfectly as I consider myself rather eccentric. My husband agrees.

I’ve come to accept the way things are and I’m content now.

I wonder about how many other foreigners find themselves “accidental” hermits in Japan. I doubt that I am alone. It’s just…Japan. It’s an awesome country, really. I love living here. I can completely understand how they have managed to isolate themselves from “outsiders” for so long. In general, and this opinion is only based upon MY personal experience as a middle-aged foreign female with no children living in Japan– I’d say that most indigenous in these parts do not exhibit the willingness to get to know others who are different (as in foreign). They don’t even carry on casual conversations with each other.

They aren’t unfriendly, actually. But it doesn’t seem like genuine friendliness it’s more like curiosity about a stranger in their midst. Taking the time to cultivate a real friendship seems to be rare. In six years I have found two that have actually gone beyond the curiosity stage. But not very far beyond.

I mused about this fact as I was standing in line at gate 14c in Atlanta waiting for my flight to Nashville. We were a small group of passengers waiting for “zone 2” to board. We didn’t know one-another but in that good ole’ American way we struck up a conversation standing there in line. It just really hit me–that never happens in Japan. Strangers do not just strike up conversations with each-other. My husband and I have talked about this fact many times.

Becoming a part-time hermit in Japan wasn’t really that difficult. Since it’s such a big part of my life I thought-why not start blogging about it? Might be interesting for some to read about.

More from the PT Hermitage later.

PT= part-time

 

 

3 thoughts on “Alone but not lonely. On being a part-time hermit.

  1. “PT Hermitage” gave me a chuckle–nice turn of phrase!

    I can relate, even though I’m not a foreign wife in Japan…small talk is just not my forte. I can be completely happy alone in the woods–just me and God, with the sounds of wind, water, and birdsong as accompaniment.

    Many blessings!

    Like

  2. I would be interested in how you feel about being a foreigner in Japan. Yes Americans are good at striking up casual conversations but real committed friendship is much harder to find. Loyalty is also harder to find here. I always enjoyed being a hermit and wanderer in Japan and preferred NOT to have that casual airport conversation. That is why Japan was so special for me. I was mostly alone in travels in Asia but NEVER lonely.

    Like

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